How to Raise Flags with Compassion and Care

One of the most useful tools that Mentor Collective’s program offers in the mentoring relationship is Flags. When mentors hear something in a conversation that they might need help to handle, they can “raise” a Flag. This creates a message that is sent to the institution that can support their mentee in the challenge they’re facing. 

Example scenario: A mentee shares with their mentor that they are worried about failing one of their classes.

After the meeting, the mentor goes into the Mentor Collective dashboard and enters an “Academic Struggles” Flag, including a note with some details.

An academic advisor at the institution receives the notification of the flag and reaches out to the mentee to help. 

The reason this system works so well is that it’s nearly frictionless. Instead of spending hours trying to find the right office or person to refer a mentee to, a mentor can send help to them, with a few clicks and a short report. It takes the stress off of the mentor to find the “right” help, and lets the experts at the institution connect their mentee to the resources they need most!

However, one piece of this process that can be tricky to navigate is how a mentor and mentee talk about flags. When a Flag is submitted, the mentee is not notified directly, so that from the mentee’s point of view, it can sometimes feel like: “I told my mentor something kind of personal, and now suddenly people from administration are calling me about it?!”

Because strong mentorships - and indeed, any relationship - is grounded in trust and transparency, we want to encourage you to be open about this process.

To ease any awkwardness, we’d like to offer some suggestions about how to communicate around Flags:

(1) Discuss Flags up front. 

In the beginning of the mentor/mentee relationship, the two of you can discuss Flags and how they work; you can review the material on flags from your Mentor Collective training. The mentee can use this opportunity to think about what kinds of things they want to discuss with their mentor and what topics they might direct to other people such as their advisor or a counselor. The mentor should make clear whether or not they are a mandated reporter, and discuss which topics might invoke their responsibility to report concerns.

Our Mentorship Jumpstart Questions have a section called "Setup," where mentors and mentees can lay the groundwork for their relationship as it begins. An understanding of Flags, when they may be raised, and what they do can be a part of these early conversations. This could also be added to the agenda of their first meeting.

(2) Mentors: before raising a Flag, discuss it with your mentee.

There might be some circumstances where a mentor will raise a flag without informing their mentee, which is a choice they can make based on their judgment. But where possible, it’s healthy to discuss the Flag with each other. This can help the mentee to calibrate their expectations and share the perspective with their mentor. The mentor might say something like:

“I wish I could help you more with that problem, but I just don’t have enough knowledge about how it works. You’d really need to talk to someone in administration. Here’s what I’ll do: I’m going to go ahead and put in a Flag in the Mentor Dashboard… that way you won’t have to go hunting around, they’ll connect you directly with someone who can help.”

 

(3) Mentees: Remember what a Flag does. 

For mentees who may be concerned about what a Flag will mean, remember that (outside of certain very limited circumstances such as a major safety concern) any services or help they are offered by the institution is optional. For example, if a mentor raises a Flag about a student loans issue and the mentee is contacted by the financial aid office, they have the option of saying ‘no thank you’.

The Flag doesn’t put any obligation on the mentee, it just offers a convenient way to connect to resources that can help.

(4) What can the mentee learn from this experience? 

While mentors and mentees can have a warm and friendly relationship, it’s always good to remember that it can also have elements of a professional relationship. That means setting appropriate boundaries and considering what topics a mentee might not  want to intersect with their professional life. This is an okay thing for mentors to remind their mentees as their relationship grows in complexity and disclosure. If a mentee has concerns around something they’ve shared, a mentor could try saying:

“I take my obligation to be a good mentor seriously, and that means setting you up for success in your future career. Remember that in a workplace, anything that you share with a mentor or work friend could impact your work and the relationships there.” 

We hope that these tips will help smooth the way through what can be a tricky part of the mentor-mentee relationship. Flags are only one minor part of the mentorship program, and many mentors and mentees never have occasion to use them! As always, remember that if you have any questions or concerns in the course of the mentorship, you should contact your mentorship coordinator.